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Sunday, May 20th, 2001
2:00 pm - The Flu
I am so sick! This flu is really making me miserable! My throat is red & raw, my nose is sore and stuffy, my head is pounding, my ears ache, I'm exhausted (more on that later), and I still have a fever! The last time I was so sick was when I was 7 months pregnant during Thanksgiving. Blah! And just to pour salt in an open wound, my daughter decided to wake-up at 11:30 last night and not go back to sleep until 2:00 am. In an earlier entry, I was just writing about how wonderful it was that she sleeps through the night. I hope she doesn't do that again, I would die a slow death! I have not done a single thing today and I don't plan on doing anything while I'm sick. My husband said yesterday, "Our house is such a mess! We should clean it today." I said, "Feel free to clean it, I'm going back to bed." I got upset with him because he just never cares when I get sick. He treats me like an alien because he doesn't want to get sick. He won't even give me a hug. He won't even make a meal to give me a break! He still expects me to do everything while sick. He aggrivates me sometimes. It is really hard to take care of my baby, feed her, bathe her, stay up at night with her, when I'm sick. Yet, he just snored all through the night and slept in this morning. Grrrr... I think I need to have a talk with that boy. Sometimes I think he's stuck back in the 1800's just because I'm a stay at home mom! I'm going to start looking for a job I think.

Yesterday was my mom's birthday and right now, as I sit here by myself and type, my family is gathering at a restaurant to party. I live 1500 miles away from my entire family (except my dad, he's only 350 miles away). I really miss seeing them often and seeing my nieces and nephews. I really have a great family, they are all very light-hearted and funny. My mom's parent's are great, especially my grandma, she always let me & my friend come to thier house during the summer. We painted and played with old toys and dressed in her old clothes and even had sleep-overs! I miss my sisters and my brother we always joke around and tease each other. They still love to tease me because I'm the youngest and I was always picked on. Ya know, we had it rough growing up, but you'd never know it now. I probably miss them more right now because I'm sick. I long to be comforted and taken care of when I'm so sick. My family was always there when I was sick, especially my mom. She'd let me stay in her bed and have control of the TV. She'd make me soup and rent me videos and keep me company. She was in the hospital a few times and would go see her everyday and bring her flowers and bring her her favorite snack food. My husband was raised in a different house. His mom has always been dealthly afraid of spreading germs. When my husband ever got sick he was quarrantined to his room and probably had to wear a mask whenever he left it. He had to spray down his bed with disinfectant and use alcohol on everything he touched. That's probably the reason he acts the way he does around me. I hate to say it but, I WANT MY MOMMY! Well, I've ranted for as long as possible. I'll stop my whining and try to get better. I just wish I wasn't so damn sick!

current mood: sick

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Friday, May 18th, 2001
12:36 pm
That's my cigar
You'll steal anudder
Hey, bummers, we got work to do
Since when did you become me mudder?
Ah, stop yer bawling!
Hey! Who ast you??

Try Bottle Alley or the harbor
Try Central Park, it's guaranteed
Try any banker, bum, or barber ...
They almost all knows how to read!

I smell money
You smell foul!
Met this girl last night ...
Move your elbow!
Pass the towel!
For a buck, I might!

Ain't it a fine life
Carrying the banner through it all?
A mighty fine life
Carrying the banner tough and tall
Every morning
We goes where we wishes
We's as free as fishes
Sure beats washing dishes
What a fine life
Carrying the banner home-free all!

Would you look at that headline?
You call that a headline?
I get better stories
From the copper on the beat!
I was gonna start with twenty
Now a dozen'll be plenty
Would you tell me how'm I ever
Gonna make ends meet?

Go get 'em Cowboy
You got 'em now, boy!
Go get 'em, Cowboy!
You got 'em now, boy!

Ok, so its not the entire song, but its enough to make my day better. I have the flu!!! I have a fever of 101 and I just pray that my daughter doesn't get sick! She is doing better, I've been puting her to bed earlier and feeding her more often and she's doing pretty well. The pediatrician says that she could be teething even at only four months.
I was just thinking about the days I used to perform and I really miss being on stage! I miss touring to California, Florida, Washington DC, Venezuela, The Czech Republic and Bulgaria. Those were some great times! That is how I met my husband in fact. He was my dance partner during my senior year of high school (he was 21). We did singing and dancing at Clayton Productions (private studio) http://www.claytonproductions.com
He blew me off at first (because I was in high school) but later I asked him out on a date and a year and a half later we were married! Now we have a beautiful baby girl! Here's another good song:

A pair of new shoes with matchin' laces!
A permanent box at Sheepshead races!
A porcelain tub with boilin' water!
A Saturday night with the mayor's daughter!

Look at me
I'm the king of New York
SuddenlyI'm respectable
Starin' right at 'cha
Lousy with stature

Nobbin' with all the muckety-mucks
I'm blowin' my dough and goin' deluxe
And there I be. Ain't I pretty?
It's my city
I'm the king of New York!

A corduroy suit with fitted knickers
A mezzanine seat to see the flickers
Havana cigars that cost a quarter
An editor's desk for the star reporter

Tip your hat
He's the king of New York
How 'bout that!
I'm the king of New York

In nothing flat
He'll be covering
Brooklyn to Trenton
Our man Denton

Makin' a headline out of a hunch
Protecting the weak
And payin' for lunch
When I'm at bat
Strong men crumble
Proud yet humble
I'm (He's) the king of New York

I gotta be either dead or dreamin'
'Cause look at that pape with my face beamin'
Tomorrow they may wrap fishes in it
But I was a star for one whole minute
Startin' nowI'm the king of New York

Ain't ya heard?
I'm the king of New York

Holy cowIt's miracle
Pulitzer's cryin'
Weasel, he's dyin'
Flashpots are shootin'
bright as the sun
I'm one highfalutin'
Don't ask me how
Fortune found me
Fate just crowned me
Now I'm king of New York
Look and see
Once a piker
Now a striker
I'm the king of New York
Front page story
Guts and glory
I'm the king of New York!

Ok I guess that's enough for now! Bye!

current mood: sick, hot, thirsty & happy

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Monday, May 14th, 2001
10:10 pm - Hi
My baby girl rolled over for the first time today! I am so proud of her, she's just growing up too fast. She is still VERY cranky and I just can't figure out why. I feed her, I love her, I play with her, she's never happy more than 20 minutes and then she cries! It makes my life VERY stressful, but I know it has to get better sometime. I don't get to do anything productive during the day. I try to help her sleep when she's tired but she's terrible at taking naps! The minute I lay her down after she's asleep she wakes up. People say that I should just let her cry it out, but she's too young. I can't stand to listen to her cry it makes me cry. This is the only time of day when I can relax and then I feel guilty that I should be cleaning because I haven't all day. At first, I think my husband thought that I was just sitting around all day. I think he got jealous that I wasn't working anymore and he didn't like the fact that I wasn't doing very much housework while I was home. He would ask, "What did you do all day?" I would just give him a look of death. So, I asked him to look after the girl one Saturday while I went out and I said, "Why don't you see how much you get done." He thought he would show me up and show me that he could clean the house while taking care of the baby. When I got home, nothing was done and my husband was so happy to pass the baby off to me. I think he understands better. The only complaint that I have now is that he knows I've had a hard day, yet he just comes home and plays on the computer while I'm still taking care of the baby and trying to make dinner. His excuse is, "I've been at work all day and I'm tired". Will he ever get a clue? I guess I'm just a whiny housewife. He did get me a very nice card and some flowers for Mother's Day. He is wonderful with his daughter and he is very loving. Maybe I'm the one that's jealous. I did have a career and daily adult conversations before the baby. I don't want to put her in daycare though, I feel that I should take care of my baby not someone else. I love her so much, it is just so hard on me right now. I just pray things will get better soon. Right now I just need a nice cold caffeine free Pepsi and a good night's sleep!

current mood: stressed

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Sunday, May 13th, 2001
11:02 pm - My very first Mother's Day
I had a good mother's day, but being that this is my first, I have a whole new appreciation for my Mom (or Mommy as I still call her). I am the youngest of four children and my parents did not have a name picked out for me before I was born, so the called me baby girl for four weeks (I think, I don't remember of course). But, since I was the last child, the name "Baby" just stuck. I did talk to my mom twice today, but I wish I could've been with her. She is a great mom! When my parent's got divorced (I was 6, I think) she went back to school and got an Associate's degree in electronics! Money was VERY tight but I never realized that we were poor. She just followed a budget and we were able to remain in our 4 bdrm 3 bthrm house in the suburbs. She was chosen (out of 250 candidates) to receive a full scholarship from her employer to go back to school and get her Bacherlor's in Electronic Engineering. If she hadn't gotten the scholarship she would've been subject to government layoffs. She graduated at the age of 48 with a 3.9 GPA!!! Then, when I thought she couldn't do anything more spectacular, she decided she wanted to run a marathon at the age of 50! And she did! Now, four years later, she's in the best shape of her life and she recently qualified to run the Boston Marathon in 2002! I truly think she is incredible! She has never put me down, she's alway taught me that I can do anything in life! She is an inspiration to the world! Happy Mother's Day Mommy, I love you!!!! Love, Baby

current mood: loved

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Friday, May 11th, 2001
4:46 pm - Mom's night out!
Me and about 10 of my other friends are gettings together for a Mom's night out! The kids will stay with the dad's while we take a night off! I am so excited for this, hooray! My daughter is still cranky, the pediatrician says its probably just colic and she'll outgrow it shortly. My husband went to the Byron Nelson Golf Tournament today here in Dallas. He got to watch Tiger Woods and a bunch of other professional golfers play, it was fun for him to do that. I'm glad its the weekend!

current mood: bouncy

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Wednesday, May 9th, 2001
11:02 pm - Good Day
I woke up this morning with an itch to just get stuff done. I did laundry, did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the baby's room. This would have been a perfect day if it weren't for the baby being so upset all day. Is it just me or is she just always terribly unhappy? I'm going to call the pediatrician tomorrow and see if she can be seen for possible reflux. She eats then throws-up so much that she's cranky and possibly hungry again? I am worried about her. I play with her, sing to her, read to her, carry her around with me while I work, but she just cries a lot. She awful at napping, but she sleeps great at night. I have a whole new respect for my mom, its really hard to listen to your baby be upset when you've done EVERYTHING. She's so cute and loves to laugh I just wish I knew what I could do. Other than the baby, it was a good day.

current mood: accomplished

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Tuesday, May 8th, 2001
8:58 pm - A better day
Well, the baby's in bed and another day is coming to a close. I feel a whole lot better than I did yesterday, but my baby is still a little cranky. This Friday is girl's night out and I can't wait! My husband doesn't seem thrilled about baby-sitting though, oh well. I don't think that he even remembers that this weekend is Mother's Day. I would really like my first Mother's Day to be special, but I really don't think he has anything planned. I don't even think he's gotten a card. I know I'm just feeling sorry for myself, but I sometimes think that my hard work as a mom and wife is taken for granted. I am excited, though, because I bought a new digital camera and it should be here Thursday. I am going to surprise my mom by e-mailing her pictures of the baby! I better get some sleep before the baby wakes up!

current mood: drained

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Monday, May 7th, 2001
3:28 pm - Yucky Sick Sick Sick
I am feeling so sick today and my daughter has tummy trouble too. I hope nothing's wrong, poor girl.
I was born a blonde but it seems that as soon as I turned 20, my hair started getting darker. I love being a blonde! One day, I wrote a check at the grocery store and the clerk asked to see my driver's liscence. I took out the liscence that was issued when I was 18 and the clerk said, "Oh, you USED TO BE blonde!" I thought, "USED TO BE???!! DAMN IT I AM A BLONDE!!!" So last night I went to the store and bought permanat hair color and restored my hair's "natural" color. I feel better now, I thought I was having a mid-life crisis at 22!
I went to bed at 11:00 last night, but couldn't fall asleep until midnight. My daughter then woke-up at 1:30 and din't fall back asleep until almost 3:00, then she woke-up to eat at 6:00 and I haven't slept since. She usually sleeps from 8:00pm to 6:00am but I don't know what happened last night. Oh well, the joys of motherhood!
Yes, my husband did re-arrange the furniture and it looks nice (kinda like Fung Shui). Oh well!

current mood: sick

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Saturday, May 5th, 2001
5:17 pm - Blah
Went to Garage Sales this morning, felt nice to leave the baby home with dad to get some time to myself. We came home and then went to the mall where it was packed! Now we're at home, my husband wants to clean the house, I don't. I say, clean it when company's coming, just make it livable the rest of the time. It may sound crazy, but I want to have another baby already. I've been thinking about it a lot. I guess I'll wait until December to get pregnant again. Gosh, I'm tired right now a nap sounds good. I think my husband is down stairs re-arranging the furniture. He works all week and then wants to spend the weekend doing this, that and everything! I wish he would slow down and take it easy more often. Oh well, he's a great guy, a wonderful husband and father, I shouldn't complain. Better go!

current mood: lazy

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Friday, May 4th, 2001
11:45 am - Tina, my hero!
I really thought that Colby would win, but I was so happy to see a woman win! You go girl! So my obsession with the show has come to an end...until this fall.
My best friend replied! She is the grooviest person I know. I still remember making videos with her and playing with fisher price little people. But, my fondest is sluffing fifth grade! We were such rebels!
My husband, Brian, will be home for lunch soon and I better feed my daughter before she gets cranky. I love being a mom!

current mood: pleased

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Thursday, May 3rd, 2001
1:17 pm - New Journal
Today I am still in my pajamas and its 1:00pm, I never do that! I am always up at 6:00am getting ready, going for a walk with my baby girl, doing laundry, dishes, etc. I guess this is my day to just veg!
Can you believe that tonight is the finale of Survivor? Yup! I'm addicted to the damn show and I love it! I've been so excited all week!
I visited my best friends live journal today. I really miss her and her husband. We grew up together, right next door. Now we live 1500 miles apart. I should post a comment on her page to let her know.
See ya Later!

current mood: indescribable

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